hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
