dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
