do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
