I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
