one might say we're banned from that church
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
