It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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