Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
