how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
