All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
