Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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