we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
