so that wasnt chicken after all
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
