Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
