dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
