My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
