You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
