She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
