can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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