i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
