Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
