So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
