Don't you send me to vm
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
