Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
