pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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