I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
