I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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