so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
