next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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