i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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