The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
