No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
