I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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