It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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