if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
