and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
