And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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