you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
