Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
