wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
