she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
