JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
