Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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