just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i think im in europe. pls send help
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
