he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
