Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I know her cup size but not her name....
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