Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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