I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
