she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The air was thick with penises
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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