I puked a lego.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
