..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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