Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
